You Are Not Your Team's Reminder App — And Treating Yourself Like One Is Costing Your School
A principal I coach came into a session recently and told me she had addressed a concern with her leadership team. When I asked how the conversation went, she said, "I just reminded them about the expectation."
I stopped her right there.
In leadership, how you frame an expectation determines whether your team believes it is optional or non-negotiable. There is a fundamental difference between reminding someone of an expectation and reiterating one. Most school leaders use these two words interchangeably, and that is exactly why so many leadership teams operate as if expectations are suggestions.
Why Reminders Quietly Undermine Your Authority
When you remind someone of something, the implied message is that they forgot. And forgetting is forgivable. Forgetting is human. Forgetting can happen again.
Think about what you remind people of in your daily life. You remind your students to push in their chairs. You remind your child to grab their lunch. You remind yourself to return a phone call. Reminders exist in the space of things that are low-stakes, easily overlooked, and without real consequence if they slip.
When you walk up to a grown adult on your leadership team and say, "I just want to remind you about getting into classrooms more," you have not set an expectation. You have issued an invitation that your team member is fully capable of declining. And depending on your culture, they may have already decided to do exactly that.
The language of reminding signals to your team that there is a softer version of accountability available, one where they can nod, say "of course," walk back to their office, and keep doing what they have been doing. Your reminder becomes background noise.
